Relations
In Islam, attraction is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct.
So, although personal relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior.
Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in personal relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction, sets us apart from all other species which engage in partnership for the sole purpose of reproduction.
Marriage
For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur'an and hadith, personal relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within this context, the role of a healthy personal relationship is extremely important. Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims.
Once a child is born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture and prepare the child for adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so that the indivdual is equipped with knowledge and willingness to accept and practice Islam and thus become a productive member of society.
Beyond childbearing, personal relations assume a prominent role in the overall well-being of the marriage. In reading hadith, one is impressed with the Prophet's ability to discuss all issues including those dealing with human intimacy.
The topics range from questions about menstruation to orgasm. He apparently was not embarrassed by such inquiries, but strove to adequately guide and inform the Muslims who asked. Both Qur'an and hadith allude to the nature of sexual relations as a means of attaining mutual satisfaction, closeness and compassion between a wife and husband. "Permitted to you on the night of the Fasts is the approach to your wives.
They are your garments and you are their garments."(2:187) Also, Muslims are advised to avoid sexual intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman (2:222).
The goal of marriage is to create tenderness between two individuals and satisfy the very basic human need for companionship. "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; in this are signs for those who think."(30:21)
The hadith which address this issue are numerous. The Prophet himself, while not divulging all aspects of his own intimate life, was known for his nature as a loving husband who was sensitive and physically demonstrative. In several hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay and speaking in loving terms during personal relations.
Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is elucidated in a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a woman to achieve orgasm first. (see Ihya ulum-id-din (Revival of Religious Learning) by Imam Ghazzali, chapter on Marriage). Intimacy dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the part of either wife or husband.
